How to Stop Worrying So Damn Much!

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Wouldn’t it be nice if you had a magic wand and “POOF” all your worries were gone!

“Worries … BE GONE” you would say!

Wouldn’t it be great if you had that magic wand right now?!

Well, you actually DO have a magic “wand” that is within you that can reduce the stress in your life and help you to stop worrying & start living with joy & peace in your heart! Maybe you don’t even know that you have this tool within you OR if you do know about it, you may think that you don’t have access to it – but, YOU DO!

I have coaching clients who come to me with worries about:

* money (or the lack of it)

* relationships and worry about loved ones

* job/career (lack of focus or uncertainty of the future)

* their overall state of health

* worry about “being found out” (<== this one is a popular one with my CEO’s & VP’s of companies as well as many of my physician clients)  It’s the really super smart & successful people that feel this way often.  Interesting, isn’t it?

Bottom line … worrying is a negative feeling.  It doesn’t feel too good, does it? And it negatively impacts your overall health. Think about it, when you get stressed out, you can get a headache, stomach ache, ulcers … the list can go on.  Negative emotions will eventually surface as a physical symptom.

Why is that? Because worrying is a series of negative thoughts & feelings that resonate with every cell of your body. Your body actually hears & feels everything you think! That’s quite powerful, isn’t it?

Here’s the definition of worry from the dictionary:
 Be troubled or uneasy; Be anxious, fret, annoyed, bothered, lose sleep, shake with the teeth (that last one is an interesting definition!)

So, why do you worry?

Here are a few explanations I have heard from clients, friends & family members (do any of these sound like you?):

1) I can’t help myself; I have always been this way!  It’s part of who I am.

2) Well, look at my situation — it’s horrible, what else can I do?

3) You think I want to feel this way?! If only he/she would act differently OR if only I would get that job OR if I ONLY I had more money …

4) Look at what’s happening with the economy – how can I NOT worry?

5) Things are not going the way I wanted them to – it’s just not going to work out as I planned?

6) What if I don’t make the money? Isn’t that something to be concerned about?

7) Well, look at my health, how can I not worry after being diagnosed with this chronic health condition?

8) I know, I know … I shouldn’t worry so much, BUT …. (those “yeah buts” will get you every time!)

Do any of these “excuses” sound familiar?  If so, let me ask you a few questions:

* Does worrying bring you what you want? 

* Is worrying a solution to your problem?  

* Does worrying serve any purpose in your life? 

You probably answered “No!” Honestly, worrying only makes you worry even more!

Here are my Top 5 Tips to Worry Less & Be Lovin’ Life more each day:

1) Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen and start focusing on what you DO want. You have to train your brain to shift to the desire outcome of your situation instead of the exact thing you don’t want. Focusing on the situation at hand – the one that makes you all stressed & worried, is not the answer. Here’s a news flash — the universe mirrors your thoughts & feelings. So, if you are thinking negative thoughts and worrying all the time, you will get more things to worry about in your life. The universe doesn’t know whether what you are focusing on is good or bad, it just matches the nature of your thoughts. So, start converting your worries to wants and shift your focus! Yes, this takes practice but it CAN be done. Many of my clients would attest to this and OH … what positive shifts they see in their lives!

2) When you find yourself in a tizzy and on a worry rampage, take a breath. Really, take a few seconds out of your whirlwind of negative thoughts & BREATHE IN that ALL is WELL and BREATHE OUT all the thoughts & feelings that are not serving you at that moment. You will be amazed at the positive & calming impact a Breathing Break will have on keeping you more centered and grounded.

3) Remind yourself in that moment of negativity that your gremlin thoughts are not going to bring you what you want. Catch yourself in the act of worrying. Awareness is the first step to change.

4) View your “gremlins” as the old thought patterns you had – don’t resist them (what you resist … persists), just say to yourself “it is what it is” and Let it Go. “Easier said than done” you think, well you can release negative emotions! I use a special releasing technique with my clients that help them to let go of those crappy feelings pretty darn quickly and bring in the feelings they desire to have.

5) Visualize the positive outcome. Maybe you are thinking that you are not good at visualizing. Well, I beg to differ. Haven’t you visualized a worst-case scenario that could happen in your life before it even happened? I had a client once who said that her biggest fear and worry was that she could end up homeless (and believe me, she was FAR from that situation — she had a good job & lots of money in the bank). And this was the same client who told me that she is not good at visualizing. Hmmm, she could visualize but only on the negative side.  Build your positive visualization muscle.  Start daydreaming about the way you want it to be — how you want your situation to turn out instead of worrying about your specific situation and coming up with those worst-case scenarios!

Remember … worrying serves absolutely no purpose. It’s actually negative goal setting.  

Worrying only makes you feel like crap.  So, start pivoting that worry to appreciating what IS working in your life.  Be deliberate about what you choose to focus on each and every day and you will start seeing positive shifts in your life that will pleasantly surprise you in abundant ways.

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